He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
