Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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