Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I touched a dick in church today
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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