so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
