dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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