You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
