I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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