sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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