Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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