doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
