Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Your penis caused this!
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