i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
