we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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