i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
