Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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