plz talk dirty to me
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
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