And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
