is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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