Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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