Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
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