well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
