Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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