This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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