i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Do you remember whose house we're in?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
