Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
