so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
