There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
