apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
