i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
