WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
