He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
