My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
ugly people sure do ruin things
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
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Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
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He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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