There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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