remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
The Olympian is in my bed
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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