like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
