If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
