you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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