i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize