so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
