Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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