the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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