Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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