Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize