Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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