You're so nebulous sometimes
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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