You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
