I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
