why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
His hands were made for my vagina.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
