She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize