Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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