it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
There's even glitter on my cock...
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