Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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