And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
