If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
