Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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