So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
