Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Never underestimate the power of titties
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize