Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
